Breakaway News Volume No. 17 Issue No. 12 December 2012
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Happy Holidays from Everyone at Breakaway!
By the time everyone reads this, you all will have survived the food-fest that is Thanksgiving, and may have shopped till you dropped on Black Friday. Of course, this heralds the beginning of the holiday season, not to mention a shopping frenzy. Breakaway wishes all our customers a happy, healthy, and safe holiday season. We also want you all to know that we stand ready to deliver for all your holiday needs, large and small.
Post-Election High
Aside from the presidency, a lot of other ancillary issues were decided upon by voters in the various states. We’re predicting that after a year or so, Washington and Colorado will be the only states without a budget deficit. However, there will be a major run on Doritos chips.
Sugar Crash
Panic in the streets. Wails of anguish. Near brawls and price gouging. Is it another storm? No, only the demise of Hostess, maker of Twinkies, Devil Dogs, and other childhood favorites. With the announcement that Hostess was closing shop, snackers across the country suddenly were gripped with an existential fear usually reserved for the zombie apocalypse. There is a ray of hope; Hostess was told to enter arbitration, rather than liquefy.
Sneaking In
According to a recent talk on TED, all communication is a matter of translation, and that communicating something with humor is more likely to get the other person to think about it, rather than stating it outright. Sort of like a verbal Trojan horse, slipping the idea past your rationalism. Heck, we could have told them that. You’re reading this newsletter, aren’t you?
Holy Sheet!
Breakaway’s updated computer system is now able to import spreadsheets directly; no more faxing or typing in individual names and addresses. As long as the document has columns, and the delivery info is correct, we can now import bulk deliveries directly into our new system. Excel, Access, and other standards are all supported, so long as they are in .csv or .xls format. Call us to get started.
Ganging Up On You
After serious consideration, we have decided that all deliveries will be done Gangnam Style. We are currently sending couriers to South Korea’s Gangnam district a few at a time to learn directly from Psy himself. After the retraining process, you’ll be able to order a Gangnam rush.
Stump the Band
Last month we wanted to know which marathoner said, “Damn! This is better than winning an Emmy!”? The answer: Oprah Winfrey.
T-Shirt Question
What was the original flavor of the crème filling of the Twinkie, and why was it changed? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.
Important message on avoiding delays during the holiday season:
As Christmas approaches, our delivery volume will spike dramatically. During peak periods, you may experience delays because many large orders will arrive simultaneously. Here are some tips to avoid service delays during the holiday season:
1) For faster service, place your large orders in the early morning. It is extremely helpful to have orders placed before 9:00 AM. We open at 7:00 AM. Our peak periods are from 10:00 AM to 1:00 PM and 2:30 PM to 5:30 PM. If we are extremely busy, pickup times can slow down. Trucking deliveries are generally slower because of traffic delays and security checks.
2) If you are planning a large batch of gift deliveries, it helps to have one-day advance notice. You can also fax a copy of your deliveries to us or place your order on our website: www.breakawaycourier.com
3) Label your packages completely. Packages that are not completely labeled languish in the company mailroom. Always include the recipient's full name, company name, room number, address and phone number. With post-9/11 security, many office buildings will not accept packages without complete information on delivery labels. Also include your return address on the package.
4) Call ahead to the delivery point to make sure someone is there to receive your package. If you order an evening delivery, make sure the receiving party is open past 5:00 PM. It might make more sense to schedule the delivery for the following morning.
5) Do not procrastinate! Please do not wait until the last minute for a large batch of deliveries. It is advisable to place large gift deliveries by Friday, December 18th.
6) Please circulate this flyer to all employees who are planning to send large batches of deliveries this holiday season.
7) Enjoy the holidays!