Welcome to Breakaway News, March 2012

 

Our much-coveted, highly praised newsletter has previously been available only to a select few.  We've decided to share.  Here, for the first time, we've posted the March newsletter entries.  Watch this space for future issues and enjoy!

 

Erin Go Breakaway!

Top o’ the month to ye, and a fine day also! This month is St. Patrick’s day, of course, hence the Irish brogue. Ordinarily, we’d warn you to plan ahead to avoid getting your package snarled in the parade, but this year, St. Paddy’s day falls on a Saturday. So enjoy the parade, drink your green beer responsibly, and bask in the Irish spirit.

Linstant Fans

 The media has answered all our questions. We hired this guy who was already living the messenger life-style--sleeping on his brother’s couch, Harvard wash-out – but then he never showed up for work. We thought his yarn about playing for the Knicks was an imaginative variant of typical lame excuses. Who knew it was really true? All we can say is, good luck Lin, you could have been a Breakaway contender.

‘Tis the Season

 No, we don’t mean Christmas. We aren’t senile just yet. We’re talking about the bicycle racing season, of course. Professionally, the European season kicks off in March. Here, the Breakaway Racing Team is getting ready to open its 2012 campaign with the Central Park races. Mike P551 Propokec, who did so well during the winter roller races, is looking to come out storming. Stay tuned for results.

Kosher Run

 True story: A customer of ours had the most incredible urge for a pastrami sandwich. Not just any pastrami sandwich, mind you, but a Katz’ deli pastrami sandwich. The problem? He was at Monmouth County airport. The solution? He called us, of course! Our messenger picked up and delivered two pastrami sandwiches to a happy customer. What errand can one of our couriers do for you?

Print? Digital? Both? 

We finally broke down and bought an iPad. We’re loving the Kindle app that it has. With the rise in digital media, is there still room any longer for regular print? What will we deliver in the future? Answer: more iPads, adapters, batteries, chargers, repair shop deliveries, etc etc  etc. 

Hardwood Madness

 It comes on every year, spreading its seasonal fever fast and furiously. It’s not malaria, but March Madness, that collective crazy time when everyone goes bonkers for college hoops. Having a roundball party at your place? Be sure to call us to deliver your party needs from libations to chicken wings.

Stump the Band

 Last month we asked what Roman holiday was antecedent to St. Valentine’s day, and was held around the same time. Answer: The Roman festival of Lupercalia, wherein young men held a lottery to decide which girls would be theirs. Sounds romantic!

T-Shirt Question

 Jeremy Lin has taken the hoops world by storm, but who was the first Asian to play in the NBA? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.