Breakaway News Volume No. 19 Issue No. 1 January 2014

Happy New Year!

Another year has come and gone, and another year of growth at Breakaway Courier is in the books. We’re at a new headquarters location, we offer more services than ever, you can do more with us online than ever before, and finally, we think 2014 is going to be our biggest year ever. To all of our loyal customers, thank you. We couldn’t have done it without you. Have a wonderful New Year!

Big Fish Story

It was like a Christmas miracle. Two months ago, one of our Bullet Cargo bicycles was stolen. But just before the holidays, our messenger JT spotted it outside a fish market on 98th and Amsterdam. Fearless leader RK sprang into action, riding up there, and staying with it until trucker AG came by to take it away. A happy ending all around! Except now our cargo bay smells like fish. No, really, the entire cargo bay smells like fish.

MLK Day

He made it possible for many people in this country to enjoy their liberties as much as anyone else, and paved the way for the USA’s first black president. So, it’s only proper that we celebrate a day in rememberance. Breakaway wants to wish everyone a happy Martin Luther King Day, which, this year is on January 20th.

Brown Frown

This Christmas season, we saw a fifty percent spike in our volume, with orders coming in fast as a winter snowfall. Still, we completed our deliveries on time; unlike UPS and FedEx, both of whom became so mired in backorders, they missed delivery deadlines. Apparently they’re brown because their name is mud. Next time call Breakaway. You know our name. Look up the number.

Tablet Rollout

It’s starting this month, and if all goes smoothly, everything will be completed by the spring. Soon, our couriers will be equipped with tablets that will be able to A) capture your signature electronically and ii) allow our customers to track their courier via GPS. Another reason to conduct your business with us via the Web.

Super Headache

As all our football obsessed fans already know, the Superbowl this year is going to be at Giant Stadium. However, all the pre-bowl festivities are going to be here on this side of the river, in Manhattan. We’re bracing ourselves, because said pre-bowl press, party, etc are going to be a stone’s throw away from Breakaway HQ. Pass the earplugs.

Stump the Band

 Last month, we asked for the two diagnoses for which methamphetamine is legally prescribed to patients. It is legally prescribed under the trade name Desoxyn for the treatment of exogenous obesity and ADHD.

T-Shirt Question

 MLK Day is what is known as a floating holiday. This is in accord with what federal act? The first one to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.