Breakaway News Volume No. 18 Issue No. 9 September 2013

Happy 5774

A happy New Year, or Rosh Hashanah to everyone out there, and a good Yom Kippur. This year, the Jewish New Year begins on Sept. 5th – 6th, while the Day of Atonement begins on Friday the 13th. So remember; if you throw any salt over your shoulder for good luck, make sure it’s kosher salt!

Online Invoicing

Okay, look, we get it. You haven’t switched to online invoicing because you see no need to change. That’s why you still cling to your rotary phone, while employing a ghost to work the telegraph in the back office, and breeding carrier pigeons on the roof. But trust us, online invoicing is quick, easy, and painless. To get started, e-mail Peggy Bernstein at pbernstein@breakawaycourier.com. And send that rotary thing to the museum, will you?

A-Rod Prod

How hot and heavy is the rivalry between the Yanks and the Sox? Last month, things got really heated after Alex Rodriguez was beaned by a pitch from Ryan Dempster. A furious Girardi got himself ejected from the game after arguing with the ump. That was nothing compared to A-Rod though, who suddenly turned green, his uniform ripped from his bulging muscles, all the while bellowing, “Alex Smash!!” Dang PEDs.

Large Load Lifts

In this day and age, there are not many companies that can afford to not adapt and still remain in business, and we’re no exception. Although we got our humble start with bicycle couriers, we also have vehicles, including lift-gate trucks, which can haul the biggest of loads for you. We can even store them, and help you with logistics. Call our trucking department for details.

Back to School

Hey, do you hear that? That low rumble. It sounds like the roar of jubilance, of incredible ecstasy. It’s the sound of parental celebration as the kids go back to school. So, get those school supplies, and prepare for the glorious sounds of silence. Our equally jubilant messengers will deliver any school supplies you order with a knowing wink.

Bold Rush

As of this writing, according to the Department of Public Health, there have been 181 applicants to open a medical marijuana dispensary in Massachusetts. That’s a lot of people out there making big bets on the future. That’s also a lot of Doritos that’ll need to be delivered, so don’t forget to call us!

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked (in Spanish) who the first native born Puerto Rican governor was. There are two answers: Juan Ponce de Leon II, in 1579, and Jesus Pinero, who was the native governor after the U.S. acquired the island, in 1946.

T-Shirt Question

Ichiro Suzuki batted his 4000th career home run this August, joining a club with only 2 other members. Who were they? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 18 Issue No. 8 August 2013

Heat Wave!

The nasty hot weather we suffered in the Northeast has broken, allowing for cooler conditions. Of course, it didn’t bother us any. We went to Puerto Rico to escape the heat (where this current edition was written)! You had to be mad to be out and about in that fetid weather! If you are not mad and were still outside, then chances are you were one of our intrepid couriers. Our fearless folks risked melting into little pools of biomass to deliver. Sorry about the sweat stains.

For Those Who Mail

We know you’re out there. You eschew e-mail for letters. You cling to your land-line. You insist on having an actual conversation, rather than text, especially when the other person is right next to you.  Well, now that we’re completely settled in our new home, mail us!  Please use our address: 444 W. 36th St. NYC, 10018 for all future correspondence, and discontinue use of our P.O. Box.

Paperless Chase

In an effort to keep paper usage to a minimum, we’re switching to electronic billing! If you want to go paperless, make sure we have your correct email address by sending it to pbernstein@breakawaycourier.com.   Invoices will be emailed in easily printable PDFs. 

Starved for Choice

Breakaway NYC moved recently, and we’re quickly finding out that we’re limited for coffee choice around here. We all pretty much run on java here, and the only choices we have are Dunkin’ Donuts or Café Grind. Either really down ‘n dirty, or really upscale and frou-frou. Dilemmas, dilemmas…

Boston’s New Digs

Breakaway Boston has moved into our new HQ on the first floor of One India Street! It was hard moving away from Downtown Crossing and all it had to offer, but this spot between Faneuil Hall and the Greenway is suiting us just fine. Wide windows and spacious layout has us feeling more productive than ever! If you’re in the nabe, stop by and say hello!

British Invasion

It’s August, and the 100th edition of the Tour de France is in the books. Congratulations to Chris Froome, the winner, and the second Briton in a row to win cycling’s most prestigious event. Of course, since many of the Tours last winners have been shown to be juiced, Froome probably has doubts to allay. In the meantime, we can call him Chris Vroooooom!

 Stump the Band

Last month, we wanted to know the names of the four Miracle of Ice hockey players who are also Boston U alumni. Answer: Mike Eruzione (captain), Dave Silk, Jack O’Callahan, and Jim Craig.

Pregunta Trivia

[Puerto Rico edition. Google Translate might come in handy.] ¿Como se llamaba el primer gobernador puertorriqueño en Puerto Rico? La primera persona que llame a Gil Ortiz con la respuesta correcta se ganará una camiseta de Breakaway Courier.

Breakaway News Volume No. 18 Issue No. 7 July 2013

Happy Fourth

Breakaway wishes all of our customers a happy, healthy, a

nd safe Fourth of July. Once again this year, the Macy’s fireworks will be held over the Hudson River, between 24th and 40th where more than 40,000 rockets will show their red glare, as awed New Yorkers stare.

Digital Syndication

Looking for good online excitement, and tired of all your friend’s lame Facebook posts of their cats? Head over to travelchannel.com, and check out the entire series of Triple Rush, featuring our little ole’ selves. You can watch our messengers fly along the streets, ad free (for the time being).

Keeping Secrets

Now we know that the government is keeping an eye on all our electronic correspondence and phone numbers, how is anyone to send a secure message? You can hire one of our couriers! Write it down, on paper, and send it in a sealed envelope. Our messengers promise not to peek.

Retro Revival

PDAs, iPhones, Androids, iPads, Surfaces, Tablets, Nooks, Blackberries; remember the days before any of these things? It seems as if we weren’t as connected as we are now, but still, we got more done. Maybe because our attention wasn’t scattered. Want to go retro? Hire a messenger! Doesn’t get more retro than two wheels and legpower.

Playing Catch-Up

We have to give it up. We were so proud of New York’s CitiBike bike sharing, but our sister city, Boston, has had a similar program called Hubway for two years. If Hubway is anything to go by, CitiBike can look forward to having lots of success. Here’s hoping.

Online Invoicing

We have digitized almost everything in this new economy, and we figured that one more thing couldn’t hurt. View your invoice online, anytime, and you can pay online as well. To get started, we need your e-mail. Call Maria Ortiz in accounts receivable to open an account, and get started.

Tour de Juiced?

It’s July, and aside from showing our national pride during the Fourth, we’re excited because July means another edition of the Tour de France. There are no serious American contenders in the field to contest for the win this year but we’ll still watch. If only for the drama of finding out which players are doping and which aren’t. It’s like a soap opera: As the Wheel Spins.

Stump the Band

Last month, we wanted to know what wood constructed item went farthest north and south, and is said to have been the strongest of its type constructed. Answer: The Fram, a sailing vessel captained by Norwegian Fridtjof Nansen in exploring the poles.

T-Shirt Question

Four of the Miracle on Ice hockey players are Boston University graduates. What are their names? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 18 Issue No. 6 June 2013

Father’s Day

June 16th is around the corner, meaning Dad’s special day is almost here. We sincerely hope that this Father’s Day, you will get your dad something other than a tie. Because then you willll need our services! We have nothing against delivering a tie of course. Just so long as it isn’t Paisley. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Share Ware

Last week saw rollout of NYC’s bike-sharing program, and we thought we’d give it a whirl. Frankly, we’re favorably impressed. The bicycles don’t feel as heavy as they are (45 lbs), ride nicely, and are easy to use. There are quirks. We rode one to Starbuck’s and found we had to wait five minutes after docking before being able to use another. We’re trying to decide if we’re more shocked about the five minute dock, or that Starbuck’s served us in less than five minutes!

Postal Going

By all accounts, the U.S. Postal Service is on its last legs. The 228-year old institution loses $25 million every day, for a total of $16 billion last year. That’s why we urge all our customers to opt for our online billing. You can view your invoice as a PDF, review your account, and pay your bill online, day or night. If you’re afraid of switching to online because you love the Newsletter, fear not! All issues of the newsletter are online as well.

Time Lag

Relativity is a funny thing, and we’re trying to wrap our heads around the fact that our perception of time is somewhat plastic, with time speeding and slowing down under certain circumstances. As has been said, the length of one minute depends a lot on which side of the bathroom door you’re on.

Harlem Hijinks

Father’s Day isn’t the only thing happening on June 16th. It’s also the day of the Harlem Skyscraper Classic, aka the Harlem Crit. If your dad is into speed, and watching bicycle racers going flat out, come up together to Marcus Garvey Park for family fun filled with fast cycling fanatics.

US Road Warriors

Congrats to everyone who participated in the 2013 U.S. Road Racing and Time Trial Championships. The events were held in Chattanooga, TN over Memorial Day weekend. Carmen Small and Tom Zirbel won the women’s and men’s time trial events, while Jade Wilcoxson and “Fast” Freddy Rodriguez won the women’s and men’s road race events. All four win the right to wear the stars-and-stripes jerseys for the next year in upcoming cycling events.

Stump the Band

Last month we asked what color of the famous 7-line “Redbird” trains was referred to as. Answer: The deep red color was referred to as “Gunn red” in honor of its originator, David L. Gunn.

T-Shirt Question

It went farthest north and south, and is said to be the strongest wood constructed item of its type ever built. What is it? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 18 Issue No. 5 May 2013

Memorial Day

Memorial Day is coming this month, of course. This year, it will be on the weekend of the 25th and 26th, with Memorial Day itself on Monday the 27th. Get ready to fire up the grill, and remember those who gave their lives for our country.

Triple Joy

You tuned in to watch, and then, just like one of our couriers on a deadline, it was gone. “Triple Rush,” which was on the Travel Channel, went off air after just three episodes. However, Travel Channel is making all eight episodes available online. Surf over to travelchannel.com to watch your favorite couriers ply their trade on the city streets.

Moot Commute

May 17th is Bike to Work Day, part of an effort to get people moving in fun ways that don’t contribute to climate change. Of course, as far as we’re all concerned, it’s no big deal. Heck, we do it all the time. It’s nice to see the rest of the city catch up with us, though.

Kitchen Remodeling

We’re happily ensconced in our new office space (albeit our building number isn’t a prime number. We really had our hearts set on that). Now, it seems, people are getting ready to follow us here, in a big way. 57-story high rises are set to sprout around us, like so much concrete crab grass, soon to dwarf our own little home. Hell’s Kitchen is hot and only getting hotter. What was that line about the heat...?

Boston Strong

Breakaway’s other home is in Boston, We’re so proud of the city and its people in light of the recent tragedy, and our thoughts are with all those affected.

Strange Talk

We’re often asked how we put our hard-hitting, well-respected newsletter together. We’d love to tell you, but it’s a secret. So much so, that we’ve installed the Cone of Silence. Let’s just say that it’s a lot of mutant conversation.

Pay This Way

Ever lay awake in the middle of the night, fantasizing of some other way to pay your Breakaway invoice? If so, seek professional help. Or, you could simply log into our web site and both view and pay your invoice, day or night, with a credit card. That way, you won’t need any Ambien.

Stump the Band

Last month we asked which hard rocking native New York band was celebrating its 40th anniversary.  Answer:  KISS, still rockin’ and rollin’ all night.

T-Shirt Question

With plans to extend the 7 train into Hell’s Kitchen and possibly New Jersey, the 7 line is often in the news. What did they call the color of the famous “Redbird” subway cars? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 18 Issue No. 4 April 2013

Tax Lax

It’s that time of year again, when we all take a deep breath and plunge into those maddening forms that the government likes to send us. It’s tax time, and the deadline is Monday, April 15th. While we can’t help prepare your documents, we can rush them over to the relevant authorities with speed, aplomb, and all due haste.

Utilization

With the move to the new office space complete, we realized that we had a lot of space at the old HQ that went underutilized. We have termed this “the office law of inertia.”  The law maintains that “an item plunked down will remain plunked down until acted upon by another.” In this case, we went through the office pointing at objects and saying, “Don’t need this. Ditch that. Dump these.”

Welcome Wagon

Naturally, to dispose of the above-mentioned plunked items, we acquired a large dumpster. That’s when the Hell’s Kitchen welcoming committee swung into action. That is to say, the other businesses and denizens began throwing their stuff into our dumpster! So, if you’re new to Hell’s Kitchen, remember: Rite of Admittance dictates that you provide a dumpster for your new neighbors.

Pretty Dyer

What’s in a name? In the case of a lonely little avenue which we’ve noticed after moving into our new HQ, not much. From what we can tell, Dyer Avenue is nothing more than a conduit connecting 34th street to the loops out of the Lincoln tunnel. Ought not to be confused with Dyre Ave, or Dire Straits.

The Extra Mile 

Last Mile Delivery is more and more a part of the new economy as people and businesses do ever increasing amounts of online commerce. Someone has to get that item from the local warehouse to its final destination. We can zip anything along that final mile, from small electronics to a sofa. Call and ask about our Last Mile service. 

Paperless Trail 

Breakaway is going paperless. Now, that has been said before, and it is true that after it’s said, it seems like there’s more paper than ever. However, we’ve successfully scanned years of administrative documents, with many standard documents digitized. The one thing we haven’t digitized is our staff. They’re still analog and can all move stuff faster than a pipeline full of bits.

Stump the Band 

Last month we asked what the Lincoln Tunnel was demoted from. Answer: The Tunnel was demoted from Interstate Status to a mere State route, although some signs still say I-495.

T-Shirt Question

This month marks the 40th anniversary of one of the hardest rocking bands ever to come out of New York. Which one? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 18 Issue No. 3 March 2013

Holidays 

It’s March, and that means a slew of holidays. So we at Breakaway wanted to wish all our friends out there a Happy St. Patrick’s Day, a Peaceful Passover, and a tranquil Easter. As for National Kidney Day or Doctor’s Day, well, you’re on your own. But, if you need that keg of green beer delivered, we’re your guys!

We’ve Moved!

By the time you read this, Breakaway will be settled into its new HQ.   The good news is that we’re only moving around the corner from our current office locale, to 444 W. 36th Street. The better news is that Breakaway will take over the whole building, rather than our current two floors, and that means no neighbors. Parrrrty!!!  

Hop, Skip, Jump

Another advantage to our move is that we’ll be closer to the Javits center; in fact, we’re just about a block away. This is convenient for customers who may be presenting at trade shows. Since our warehousing will be unaffected by our move, this is a good chance to improve your logistics when doing shows. Call our warehousing/logistics team for more info.

March Madness

Another tradition of March is that perennial mental condition that affects large swaths of the population, March Madness. Tuesday, March 19th is the official start of this serious condition, and it won’t abate until April 8th. Serious side effects like dizziness and drinking may occur. Don’t operate heavy machinery or deliver your own packages if affected. Call us instead. We promise to remain uninfected. Really.

Spring Forward

March 10th is the time for everyone to Spring forward; Daylight Savings Time is almost upon us. That means, of course, that we all lose an hour of sleep and that your newsletter writer will be much grumpier without that second cup of coffee. It’s not all bad; ten days later, the first official day of spring arrives at the solstice. Just remember to re-set your alarm clocks!

Cargo Bikes

Have a somewhat heavy delivery but don’t want to call a fossil fuel consuming, CO2 producing vehicle? Call for one of our cargo bikes instead! One study shows that every mile traveled by bicycle saves 1 pound of CO2 emission. So give us a call, and get that baby moved, green and guilt free! 

Stump the Band

Last month we wanted to know who created the first modern computer and why? Answer: Tommy Flowers of Bletchley Park created a computer called “Colossus” during WW II to help break German codes.

T-Shirt Question

What was the Lincoln Tunnel demoted from, and why? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 18 Issue No. 2 February 2013

Valentine’s Day

February is that funny month. It’s cold as hell, it’s a few days shorter than the other months, and it’s for lovers. If it hadn’t been for lovers, they wouldn’t have put St. Valentine’s Day in it. Make sure you buy that special someone that extra-special romantic goody, or you’re in big trouble, buster! Better rush those twelve long-stem roses over by Breakaway. What can we say, we’re romantics!

One Flu Over 

An emergency struck the editorial staff of the humble Newsletter when our main copywriter and editor was struck down with the flu. Without anything else to do, he watched a lot of cable news, where he learned that the flu was being used as an excuse for all matter of nefarious doings: missing work, dodging boy and/or girlfriends, cutting school. None of our couriers would do that however. They love riding their bicycles too much. Moreover, none of them have a nefarious bone in their bodies.

Bulk Mania 

It’s become a very popular service. No, not our Belgian fries experiment. That didn’t go so well. No, we’re talking about our bulk delivery service. Get started now; just visit http://breakawaycourier.com/bulk-deliveries/.

Wi Fi Fly

Another calamity that overtook our editor was that his computer died. Not crashed, not froze. Flat out died. Wouldn’t turn on. Gave up the ghost. That meant that we at Breakaway had to scramble to get him up and running. That meant a cheap new laptop. That meant wifi, which meant a trip to Radio Shack. That meant driving our tech department crazy. Isn’t modern tech grand?

Fame at Last

Our messenger C551, Errol Collins, has made us proud! He was recently featured in a photo essay in the New York Times online. This proves once again that Breakaway’s couriers are photogenic and fit to print!

Commute Group

The Times also reports that commuting into the city from the ‘burbs by bicycle is growing more popular, as evidenced in part by NJ’s legendary Ridgewood Commuter Group founded by our president Rob Kotch. The Parks Department is helping out by converting rails to trails. Commuting by bicycle has never been easier. Get out there!

Stump the Band

Last month we asked what “hair of the dog” was. Originally, it literally meant some hair from off of the dog that bit you, to stave off rabies. From that beginning, it has now come to mean treating an ailment with what caused the ailment.

T-Shirt Question

Who created the first true modern computer, and why?  The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 18 Issue No. 1 January 2013

The Hangover

By the time all of our valued customers receive this newsletter, the confetti will have settled, the last refrain of Auld Lang Syne will have been sung, and the last bottle of bubbly will have been drunk, meaning only one thing: monster hangover! Fortunately, our dedicated crew of teetotalers will still be in a condition to deliver you hair of the dog. Happy New Year!!

In Thru the In Door

We were watching the Kennedy Center Honors the other night, when we were struck by a considerably weighty moment of cognitive dissonance: Led Zeppelin being honored at the Kennedy. A band that exemplified bad-boy behavior dressed in tuxes and behaving… well…well alongside the President was just too much for our grey matter. Stairway to decorum?   

Re: Re -

Now that Santa has come and gone, it’s now the season for “re.” You know, as in re-gifting, re-turning, and re-nouncing whatever re-volting gift you re-ceived and could definitely live without. Have no fear; we will bring it back for a re-fund with discretion and aplomb. In other words, re-turns are us.

Bulking Up

Over the holidays, many of you out there in readershipville availed yourselves of our new bulk ordering function on the website. We just wanted to remind you all that the service is up and running the other 364 days of the year. All we need is a spreadsheet with the relevant info. Visit breakawaycourier.com/bulk-deliveries to get started.

Thank You

A huge thank you to all of our customers for having made the Christmas and Holiday season a memorable one. Everyone was generous to a fault, and we’re all at least ten pounds heavier to prove it.

Hey…Still Here?

Something happened recently. Actually, something failed to happen recently: the end of the world as predicted by the Mayan calendar. Wasn’t there supposed to be some all- encompassing cataclysmic earth-devouring mega-tsunami cosmic storm type disaster? Not wanting to brag or anything but, you know, this is the fifth end of the world we’ve survived.  Then again, maybe a big shift did happen. After all, Led Zeppelin was at the Kennedy Center Honors.

Stump the Band

Last month we wanted to know what the original flavor of the crème filling of the Twinkie was, and why it changed. Answer: The original flavor was banana, but during WW II, bananas were rationed so the flavor was changed. The rest is history.

T-Shirt Question

What did “hair of the dog” originally refer to? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 17 Issue No. 12 December 2012

Happy Holidays from Everyone at Breakaway!

Holiday Cheer

By the time everyone reads this, you all will have survived the food-fest that is Thanksgiving, and may have shopped till you dropped on Black Friday. Of course, this heralds the beginning of the holiday season, not to mention a shopping frenzy. Breakaway wishes all our customers a happy, healthy, and safe holiday season. We also want you all to know that we stand ready to deliver for all your holiday needs, large and small.

Post-Election High

Aside from the presidency, a lot of other ancillary issues were decided upon by voters in the various states. We’re predicting that after a year or so, Washington and Colorado will be the only states without a budget deficit. However, there will be a major run on Doritos chips.  

Sugar Crash

Panic in the streets. Wails of anguish. Near brawls and price gouging. Is it another storm? No, only the demise of Hostess, maker of Twinkies, Devil Dogs, and other childhood favorites. With the announcement that Hostess was closing shop, snackers across the country suddenly were gripped with an existential fear usually reserved for the zombie apocalypse. There is a ray of hope; Hostess was told to enter arbitration, rather than liquefy.

Sneaking In

According to a recent talk on TED, all communication is a matter of translation, and that communicating something with humor is more likely to get the other person to think about it, rather than stating it outright. Sort of like a verbal Trojan horse, slipping the idea past your rationalism. Heck, we could have told them that. You’re reading this newsletter, aren’t you?

Holy Sheet!

Breakaway’s updated computer system is now able to import spreadsheets directly; no more faxing or typing in individual names and addresses. As long as the document has columns, and the delivery info is correct, we can now import bulk deliveries directly into our new system. Excel, Access, and other standards are all supported, so long as they are in .csv or .xls format. Call us to get started.

Ganging Up On You

After serious consideration, we have decided that all deliveries will be done Gangnam Style. We are currently sending couriers to South Korea’s Gangnam district a few at a time to learn directly from Psy himself. After the retraining process, you’ll be able to order a Gangnam rush.

Stump the Band

Last month we wanted to know which marathoner said, “Damn! This is better than winning an Emmy!”? The answer: Oprah Winfrey.

T-Shirt Question

What was the original flavor of the crème filling of the Twinkie, and why was it changed? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.

Important message on avoiding delays during the holiday season:  

As Christmas approaches, our delivery volume will spike dramatically. During peak periods, you may experience delays because many large orders will arrive simultaneously. Here are some tips to avoid service delays during the holiday season: 

1) For faster service, place your large orders in the early morning. It is extremely helpful to have orders placed before 9:00 AM. We open at 7:00 AM. Our peak periods are from 10:00 AM to 1:00 PM and 2:30 PM to 5:30 PM. If we are extremely busy, pickup times can slow down. Trucking deliveries are generally slower because of traffic delays and security checks.

2) If you are planning a large batch of gift deliveries, it helps to have one-day advance notice. You can also fax a copy of your deliveries to us or place your order on our website: www.breakawaycourier.com

3) Label your packages completely.  Packages that are not completely labeled languish in the company mailroom.  Always include the recipient's full name, company name, room number, address and phone number. With post-9/11 security, many office buildings will not accept packages without complete information on delivery labels. Also include your return address on the package.

 4) Call ahead to the delivery point to make sure someone is there to receive your package. If you order an evening delivery, make sure the receiving party is open past 5:00 PM. It might make more sense to schedule the delivery for the following morning.

5) Do not procrastinate! Please do not wait until the last minute for a large batch of deliveries. It is advisable to place large gift deliveries by Friday, December 18th.

6) Please circulate this flyer to all employees who are planning to send large batches of deliveries this holiday season.

7) Enjoy the holidays!