Breakaway News Volume No. 15 Issue No. 10 October 2010

Halloween  

Here’s hoping all of our customers, and their children, have a spooky and ghoulish Halloween this year. Our army of zombie messengers will deliver your dead flowers in as ghastly a manner possible, and can even bring you that extra gigantic box of candy for all the little creepies that will trick-or-treat your neighborhood. Boo!

The New Porsche  

Once again, Breakaway has been waaaaayyyy ahead of the trend. Need evidence? The New York Post reported recently that guys in their early forties aren’t dating supermodels and buying Porsches anymore. They’re buying expensive racing bikes to impress their wives. In many cases, the racing rigs have saved both marriages and waistlines. Heck, we could’ve told them that.

Fitness Equation

Alarmingly, the divide in this country between those who are fit and those who aren’t is widening precipitously. This can be expressed with the following equation:

Ph+it²/Ph+at² x BiKE/PedRev = (PH)it * (PH)at = it/at

                                  Spin * 4

(it/at)² = ia (intelligence artificial).

See? These things are understood better using quadratic equations.

Logical Logistics

It is a big thing and we rock at it. We mean, of course, logistics. We can store skids-worth of your materials on site, and help to distribute them around the city when the time comes, either via lift-gate or bicycle messenger, saving you time, space, and money. Logically, it makes the most business and money sense. Our team of Vulcans in logistics are the best. Klingons need not apply.

Leaf Peeping

We love fall. The air turns crisp, the soggy, dog-day heat is gone, and best of all, the leaves catch fire. There’s nothing better than riding along (insert city appropriate path here) and enjoying the leaves turning color.

Streets to Suites

There was a time when being a bicycle messenger was the Job of Last Resort. You were down and out, you owed your buddies money, whatever, you had two choices: crime or messenger. Not so anymore. People move here from plush backgrounds in other states specifically to ride for Breakaway as a messenger. We’ve arrived, as they say. Now call us for a delivery, and help us give these kids something to do!

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked what sparked the most violent riots on the White House grounds in U.S. history? Answer: President John Tyler vetoes the creation of the Second Bank of the United States, sparking Whig riots.

 T-Shirt Question

 What is the significance of the colors orange and black for Halloween? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt. (Orange = harvest, black = death)