Breakaway News Volume No. 15 Issue No. 11 November 2010

Whoops!  

Sharp eyed readers might have noticed that last month, we printed the answer to the trivia question right under the trivia question. Well, these things happen. Really, we just wanted to see if you were awake and on the ball. Yeah, that’s it, yeah…

Oven Stuffer   

November is here, and that means it’s that time of year when we commence stuffing ourselves silly (starting with Halloween’s candy). We want to wish all our customers a happy, safe, and pants-tightening holiday. Remember, if you have a last-minute emergency need for an extra can of cranberry sauce, we’ve got you smothered…er…covered.

Transparency

Fee, fi, faux world. It’s hard to believe anything these days, whether that be a politician or even your own eyes. Photoshop has become as much a verb as a noun, and CGI makes even film suspicious. Meanwhile, newspeak has crept into our national dialog, while propagandists pose as actual journalists. The only thing left to believe is that the Breakaway courier at your door, is actually taking your package, and will really get it there. We are real.

Overheard

Twenty-something #1: “I loved him, and we’re still friends, but something was missing, and we were moving in different directions.”

Twenty-something #2: Yeah, I know what you mean. Adam and I are still friends, but something was missing.”

Yet another true conversation heard by our messengers on the street every day.

Stow It, Willya?

It’s getting more popular, and we couldn’t be more proud. We’re talking about our warehousing and logistics service. We’ll take in your pallets, store your deliverables, and distribute them around the city by messenger, vehicle, and transporter beam. The last one still has kinks, though, so for now, stick with the first two options.

Phony Phone System

We doubt anyone noticed (how would one?) but we have a new phone system in place, that’s allowed us more flexibility than ever before. We can now take calls virtually from anywhere. For instance, we took all of last week’s calls while at the craps table in St. Tropez. So, call us for a run already, so we can justify this new-fangled system!

Stump the Band

Last month we wanted to know what the black and orange colors of Halloween signified. Obviously, we knew what they signified because we gave you the answer! As a result, we’ve fired W as our intern editor, and are sending him back to Texas.

T-Shirt Question

What infamous person ran in, and won, the Boston and New York marathons, only to be disqualified from both? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.