Breakaway News Volume No. 16 Issue No. 8 August 2011

Look! Up in the Sky!

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s Breakaway! Well, sort of. We are pleased to announce that Breakaway Courier now has a TSA license, meaning we can now ship by air. The first planes of the Breakaway fleet are almost ready, as soon as our origami specialists finish folding the last of the paper airplanes. You can help; after reading this, fold it into an airfoil and voila! Instant fleet!

Aussie Rules

Breakaway Courier congratulates Cadel Evans, winner of the 2011 Tour de France. Patience is a virtue; Cadel has competed in the Tour seven times, and has been second twice. Cadel becomes the first Australian to win cycling’s biggest race. This year's Tour is also reportedly the most dope-free in twenty years, with the average pace almost three minutes slower than previous tours. Of course, our messengers never dope. They’re just naturally fast.

DUMBO Delivery

Back in July, a client called us to make a pick-up in Chelsea headed to DUMBO. We sent a messenger who happens to be deaf. He also just happened to be holding another client’s item, headed to a Wall Street building with a lot of government offices, which he was instructed to deliver first. Turns out the package for DUMBO was a pair of fake automatic guns, clearly visible in the Wall Street building’s X-Ray. Needless to say, it wasn’t long before the police and Homeland Security got involved, and chaos ensued. Transporting real weaponry is illegal in NYC. The real-looking fake items were confiscated by Homeland Security. Moral of the story: if you intend to ship anything that might attract the attention of Big Brother, call and consult with us first.

Hamptons Vacay

It’s August, and that means that many New Yorkers head out to the Hamptons to get away from it all. However, if you forgot your pool furniture or hibachi, or even your pets, fear not. Call Breakaway for our Hamptons delivery service. You’ll be glad you did.

Sic Itur Ad Astra

It’s the end of an era that we have all watched with fascination, envy, and sometimes, shocked sadness. Space shuttle Atlantis returned to earth in July, officially marking the end of thirty years of round-trip flights to space. All is not lost, however. We’re currently talking with NASA to let us handle all future deliveries to the International Space Station. Official space helmet on, Captain Video!

Stump the Band

Last month we wanted to know which past hockey player got involved in a brawl, wielding a fan’s shoe. Answer: Mike Milbury, a Bruin who fought a Ranger fan, hitting him with his own shoe, in a bench clearing brawl.

T-Shirt Question

It happens every year, between July and August, and is eagerly anticipated by sky watchers. It will hit its peak around August 12^th. What astronomical event are we talking about? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.